A late new year's resolution

I want to sing more.

I used to sing quite a lot as a kid. I sang everywhere I went: I didn't restrict myself to the shower. My mom claimed I could sing before I could utter full sentences (thanks, Sound of Music). Around kindergarten Mom enrolled me in a vocal school built by a renowned opera singer in Indonesia. I was too young to remember what I learned - other than scales - ah yes, them - to warm up your voice. La la la la la la la. Li li li li li li li. Mo mo mo mo mo mo mo. You get the picture. My friends and I sang through elementary and junior high in choir competitions, vocal groups, at church. Music weaved in and out in the midst of even the most mundane activity. Waiting around for the car or for basketball practice to commence. A song would pop in someone's head then out his or her vocal chordst; other voices would join in effortlessly, likely in harmony. Music surrounded my childhood. Songs were at school, at home, at play practice, at church, at recess, at the terrace of friend's house, at night, in the morning, in the car. Songs were in my head. I didn't care if there was an audience or not. I definitely wished life was a musical.

Then I grew up.

As a grown-up I've learned social etiquette. Like, don't sing while shopping at the grocery store, or waiting for a friend at a cafe. It's weird. Then I find myself not singing while in the shower or washing the dishes. Pretty soon the songs don't make their way out. Not even when no one is watching.

But a little girl singing while standing in line for the cashier wouldn't be weird. A little girl singing while in the tram wouldn't be weird either. It would be cute.

So I know this much: The little girl in me still enjoys humming a little ditty, sometimes just a phrase or two. The grown-up me more often than not would rather concentrate on this task or that, dwell over mistakes, think about my retirement home, etc. But this year I'm going to indulge her with more music. More this year than last. 'Cos after all, she knows how to keep it in tune. The task can wait. I want to, and indeed, need to, channel and embrace the little girl me more because she is not embarrassing or childish. She's real and fun. Whimsical. Less inhibited. I just forget her sometimes.

Let's get this straight though. I'm not entering American Idol - ever. Ever. Don't worry! And I won't be weird! At least I'll try not to be.

So next time you happen to hear me sing, feel free to join in. Or hum something of your own, and I'll join you. Wouldn't that be fun?