I was in a wedding this past weekend. One of my good friends got married to a wonderful person! The occassion also brought a bunch of our oldest friends (from kindergarten!) from all parts of the country and the world even. It was so fun and beautiful. My friend the bride looked amazing of course but even more amazing was how calm and collected she was throughout the whole planning process and the day of. The photographer remarked, "You guys are so calm. This is the calmest wedding party I've ever seen!" My friend the groom said some of the most beautiful eloquent words I've heard from a man especially considering how goofy this particular one is! Case in point: "To my groomsmen... best friends are people who know the worst part of you but still choose to not believe it. To the bridesmaids... my appreciation for you is second only to your affection for my bride... "
I gave a toast, naturally, since I was the maid of honor. I started off with some cute/candid remarks about how the bride and I became friends (she was the smartest kid in kindergarten and elementary school), then proceeded to bless the groom with some encouraging words... or so I thought.
I said something like: I know he is a good man because of the way he serves her.
Laughter all around.
Why is that funny?
I look around the room, one person was making the whipping motion with her hand, the groom tried to play it up even more by getting down on one knee next to his bride...
Quick, I thought, I need to explain. The groom is one of those people who shows love by serving other people - some people say kind words, some people give gifts; this one brings you water, asks if you are comfortable, opens the door, etc. and he does it so consistently. I look at that and think: WOW.
A few friends from church came up to me afterward to remark how strange it was to them too that people thought it was funny. It was apparent that we only use that in our circle.
Now, perhaps the word choice was strange to many. Serve. It sounds so degrading or even condescending. Yet I've gotten used to using it to describe how we, as friends or as people belonging to humanity, are to love and care for one another. When you love someone - you'll do anything for them even if it means doing something that is "beneath" you. I use quotation mark there because nothing is supposed to be beneath me.
The incident reminded me how Jesus' way really is radical... no wonder people laughed, sneered, thought he was crazy.
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