Dizzy

(Apologies for the list format. It's a cheater's way of writing, I know. But the internet has really changed the way one writes. Actually, TV started it)

Some things I've been thinking about lately:
- My knee. It's been bothering me for weeks now and finally this week I will go in for an MRI to settle it! I hope it won't be anything serious. Thank God that it's covered by insurance. Hooray for HMO!
- The holidays. I really dislike how stressed out people (I) get during the holidays when it's supposed to be the time to enjoy and be grateful. I hate how even the fun stuff like parties gets so stressful because all I can think about is the crazy amounts of money people (I) put on them. Not to mention gift-giving. Giving should be fun. But shopping makes it a chore. Is it just me? Maybe. Just this morning I heard on NPR that on average people (not I) take until July to pay off their holiday spending. Come on! Are we really that materialistic? We are, aren't we.
- The audience of one. For what/whom do I live? If it's God, then I should be concerned with pleasing Him and Him alone. Not me and my botched standards, and certainly not for other people to see. What do I do when I'm alone? Will I still do good works if there is no one to applaud me? Lately I realize that I'm still stuck in pleasing other people and even worse: pleasing myself.
- Closer. What a fascinating movie. The characters are difficult to like and the depravity of the story is disturbing. But the text! and the acting!
- Our neighbor who championed and won the petition to have "no parking anytime" on our side of the street. WTF? And the fact that the sign is up already when we were told it should be up in the new year? Why such efficiency when it's something unpleasant?! Can't bureaucracy work for instead of against me? Is it possible to really passionately dislike someone you hardly know?! I thought this kind of intensity is reserved for those whom you know well...
- The small group ministry at church. I went to the holiday party last night and as usual, when I'm around leaders, I get super jazzed. Then I hear our pastor say: "what you do is closer to what Jesus did than what I do." I truly believe small groups is crucial. But when you put it like that!
- On that note, I've been wanting to start a small group again - more on this to come. I can't sleep when I think about it. So I try not to think about it at night. :) I hope to keep casting the vision: talking to people, asking for prayer, and praying. I know better not to pursue it on my own, though. So I'm waiting for a partner. Or two.