Ministry of tears

I took the Strengthsfinder test a few years ago because, well, everyone was doing it! I didn't want to feel left out!! :) It helped me a lot in terms of putting names to the things I do and how I operate. I had a lot of "Oh THAT's a strength? I thought I was weird" moments. Nevertheless I learned a lot about myself, how I'm gifted, and ways to use my gifts to bless others.

One of my strengths is Empathy. If you have it, you'll instantly know what I mean when I say that I struggle with it. I hate it most of the time. I hate how when someone tells a story about a knee surgery, I grab my knee because it's like I know how it felt for him/her - when in fact, I don't. I hate how I feel pain, anger, all ranges of emotions -- not mine but someone else's! so acutely, because I get tired of it. Surely, on the other hand I can also relate to someone's major high - like excitement, elation, etc.

Still, I sometimes wish I can get rid of this Empathy gift. Here's the number one reason: I cry all the time. If the other person cries, I cry. Even if he/she doesn't, I still do. It's embarassing. Not to mention, highly inconvenient. I hate it.

Until the other day.

I got a note from a friend, thanking me for a nice conversation we had. This friend wrote: "One of the things that ministered most were your tears. Thank you."

No one's ever put it to me that way before.

That's why it's called a gift. Because it blesses another person when you use it. I think I knew that. I just didn't know it, know it.

Thanks, PM.